Writing down the Bones: Talking Heads

Now we're not talking about the band The Talking Heads and I'm sure that dates me a little but I do love them.

Talking heads is when you have too much dialogue and very little description.

Here's an example - an excerpt from Book 8 of the Vespian Way. Heather and Storm have gone undercover as Nusi - Heather and Luprin - Storm:

“A poor excuse. I expect regular contact on regular intervals if you know you’re going to be out of communication.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Is Nusi there?”

“Yes, sir,” she responded. They knew better than to lie.

“You are now co-leader of this group. You two will share the duties and responsibilities over what happens together.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

“Don’t make me regret this decision.”

“I promise you won’t, sir.” Heather grinned. Now she was his equal. Something that was being communicated to every member as they spoke.

“I expect your updated itinerary first thing in the morning.”

“Yes, sir.” Storm turned off the machine and turned toward Heather. “You found that funny.”

“How does it feel to be on the receiving end?”

“I’ve been there before.”

“Not in a long while.” She pressed a few buttons and revealed the bed. “Nice.”

“And you have been?” He hooked his fingers in her skirt and pulled her toward him.

“More times than I care to count.”

“That is because you don’t follow the rules.”

“I do too.” She jammed her hands on her hips. “Was I wrong in deviating from not contacting headquarters when I saw the opportunity to tag them?”

“I’m not saying that.”

“I always tried to follow the commands passed down from headquarters, but they aren’t always in the field to see what is happening. If I thought I could do it better, or quicker than I did it.”

That is pretty much nothing but dialog - a couple of tags here and there and I hope they make it easy for you to figure out who is talking

To make the scene three dimensional you need to add the place where the characters are. What they might be wearing, or feeling. Show what they are seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching - the five senses. The five senses don't work in every scene - like tasting, if they're not eating you can't always use that but try to work them in as much as possible.

“A poor excuse." Fridon's voice filled the room they were in. "I expect regular contact on regular intervals if you know you’re going to be out of communication.”

“Yes, sir.” Storm kept his face from reacting to the fact his second was now yelling at him. He had trained him well.

“Is Nusi there?”

“Yes, sir,” she responded. They knew better than to lie. The system had probably picked up her heartbeat and let him know there were two people in the small wagon, which is why he asked for her in the first place.

“You are now co-leader of this group. You two will share the duties and responsibilities over what happens together.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

“Don’t make me regret this decision.”
“I promise you won’t, sir.” Heather grinned. Looked like she had already shown that although she broke the rules earlier it was a smart move. Now she was Storm's equal. Something that was being communicated to every member as they spoke.

“I expect your updated itinerary first thing in the morning.”

“Yes, sir.” Storm turned off the machine and turned toward Heather. Who was grinning from ear to ear. “You found that funny.”

“How does it feel to be on the receiving end?” She couldn't keep the laughter out of her voice.

“I’ve been there before.”

“Not in a long while.” She pressed a few buttons and revealed the bed. “Nice.”

“And you have been?” He hooked his fingers in her skirt and pulled her toward him.
The heat of  his hands as it brushed against her skin had her thinking more about the bed than their conversation. “More times than I care to count.”

“That is because you don’t follow the rules.”

“I do too.” She jammed her hands on her hips, her desire forgotten for the moment. “Was I wrong in deviating from not contacting headquarters when I saw the opportunity to tag them?”

“I’m not saying that.”

“I always tried to follow the commands passed down from headquarters, but they aren’t always in the field to see what is happening. If I thought I could do it better, or quicker than I did it.”

Now the scene has more descriptive info. The small details I added should help fill in the blanks about what they were thinking and where they were. Made it more three dimensional and a little easier to visualize. Once I finish the manuscript I'll go back and polish it even more and I plan on posting the scene again so you can see the different changes I'll continue to make on it.

Barb:)

Shameless Promoting! Blogging, contests and release!

I'm excited about so many things right now. Although I don't have a release date for book five of the Vesian Way series, Hesitant Desire I have learned that my first two books, Dominated By Desire and Passionate Desire are being released in print! Dominated By Desire's print version will be released Tuesday March 26th and Passionate Desire will be released on April 2nd! I've been doing the happy dance since I learned about it. http://www.phaze.com/author.php?author=21

I'm also blogging at Toni Sweeney's blog all this week. I'm talking about what makes a book erotic. Please stop by and say hi! http://www.tonivsweeney.com/tvsweeney@tonivsweeney.com/Blog/Entries/2013/3/22_What_is_Erotic.html

The third thing I want to announce is that I found out Animal Desire. The third book in this series is up for best erotic romance- romantic sf/futuristic of 2012 at the Romance Review. Please! Please! Please go by and vote for it. http://www.theromancereviews.com/bookvote.php The voting goes until the 31st of March.

One more thing. I will also be blogging at Misti Parker's Blog as she does the A through Z blog for April. I'm April 1st A and will be talking about Alpha Males...you know I didn't even notice it was April Fools Day! It fits me!
http://mystiparker.blogspot.com/2013/03/coming-in-april-z-blog-challenge-2013.html

Thanks

Barb:)

Slameless Promoting! I'm at Tina Donahue's Blog today

Tina was wonderful in allowing me to blog with her today!
http://www.tinadonahue.com/blog/

Please come and say hi!

I talk about how I got into writing along with an except of my first book in the Vespian Way - Dominated By Desire. I'm excited it is coming out in print on March 26th! Be on the lookout!

www.phaze.com 

Random Thoughts: Human life span vs Vespian Life span

I know I owe a writing down the bones segment, but I am dealing with something that has kept me from getting it done and I feel this deep urge to write about what is going on to help me clear my mind to get back to the matters at hand.

Hope you don't mind.

Right now I'm dealing with my eighty-five year old mother-in-law who took a spill last Thursday and bruised her hip real bad. Then five days later she tried to get up on her own, fell again and did a little more damage. The doctors call it a subtle fracture, it means rehab and an extended stay at a center until they think she can come back home.

What happened to growing old gracefully?

My hero, Storm, from the Vespian Way series, would be growling and snarling at this stage, refusing help and trying to do it on his own. Heather would have healed within a day or two.

When I first created my race of aliens I made them have a long life span. At least three hundred years. Storm is in his early fifties now, and has only lived one sixth of his life, but if he were human he would have lived half of his life already. Heather also will live a long time. I don't know how long yet because this is still developing in the series. She also has the ability to heal fast. Something that she wasn't even aware of until book six because of their modern technology.

I thought I gave them a longer life because I was creating an alien race but now I wonder if back in my mind I gave them such a long life span because of dealing with an elderly relative.

Is this my way of wishing for a long and healthy life? Do I write about the future because our technology isn't there for the elderly but my hope is it will be in the future? There is a part of us that wants to live forever, without the aging process interfering. Future technology could give that to us.

Shameless Promoting: Love Romances Chat on March 5th!

I do try to keep my promoting to a minimum but tomorrow I will be chatting with Love Romances. For those of you who are on the Love romances yahoo loop please come by and say hi.

This is my first time doing a chat with them so I'm excited to see what happens. The chat starts at 2 pm and runs until 4 pm.

I'll be talking about my series the Vespian Way, writing, and how those wonderful characters keep me writing.

Hope to see you there!

Here's the link to Love Romances if you wish to join to chat with me.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveRomancesCafe/?yguid=1652391

Random Thoughts: My Characters Follow me Everywhere

I'm not sure if anyone else has the problem I do, but this new series of mine is like walking around with a bunch of people in my head. I work in retail as a merchandiser so I'm constantly talking to people, which I love. I'm a people person. But when I'm working on my latest MS, my characters are right there talking to me at the same time. It's a little distracting when they're whispering in my ears about what they want in a scene or which scene they think should be next while a customer is asking where something is.

I know I talk out loud to myself too. I remember several years ago I was working and talking out loud and a customer came down the isle I was working on. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him give me a wide berth as he went around me. I had to laugh.

"It's okay. I do talk out loud to myself."

"As long as you don't answer yourself."

"Hey, sometimes it's the only time I can have an intelligent conversation."

That made him laugh and realize I wasn't some crazy lady - okay so I am a little crazy, but I try not to flaunt it too much.

This taught me to try to keep my thoughts to myself, especially if I'm working through a scene. There is no way anyone, but another author, would understand what I'm doing. They'd just give me a jacket with extra long sleeves and put me in a padded room. Can't type with those sleeves.

I just wish I could ride in the HOV lane with all these people in my head, but I'm not sure a policeman would understand. 

Writing Down the Bones: Writer's Block

So you're writing along. The words are flowing and then all the sudden you hit a brick wall. Not literally, but mentally. The words stop coming. You sit in front of your computer and find it hard to string two words together. The computer stares back, blank, empty. What do you do?

There are several ways to try to get the creative juices to flow again.

Try to sit and write for fifteen minutes a day. Even if all you get out is a sentence that you ended up erasing you did write.

You can try working on something else. Sometimes it's another story, sometimes it's gardening. I work through scene ideas while I'm merchandising, but I have the kind of job that involves a lot of busy work so I can free my mind and let it go do what it needs to do and I have been caught talking out loud to myself because of it. Thank goodness for Bluetooth, if no one is paying any attention they think I'm on the phone.

If you use the computer all the time then grab a pen and paper and try that. If you use pen and paper then transfer it to your writing program, try writing on in that program. If you write at a desk try sitting outside, or in a comfortable chair. If you write in silence try listening to music. I write while the TV is on. I'm able to drown it out as background noise.

Try free writing. If you can't think of anything dealing with your WIP write whatever you want. It might help steer you back to the story that has stymied you.

You could try to visualize what you are trying to write. Sometimes that helps. With all the different social medias I'd try one like Pinerest. Some of the images I see are awe inspiring. Maybe the pictures there will help get your creative juices flowing. Other authors post pictures of their characters, clothing they might wear, rooms or locations where their scenes might happen. You could do the same thing and it might help to get the words to flow again.

There is only one thing I can say about writing, don't ever give up. There times when you find it hard to put one word after the other. Just about every author has had that happen to them, but we work through it. You will too.

Random Thoughts: How my Male Hero from the Vespian Way Would Handle Valentine's Day

I love Valentine's Day. It doesn't matter if I get a card or a box of chocolates as long as my husband acknowledges the day. Now I think I need to warn everyone that we've been married twenty-eight years now and I might tease him that I'll change him in for two twenty-something year olds - that number changes as we get older, but he is my best friend and I wouldn't change him for anything in the world. He is my heart.

Now I sound like my characters in the Vespian Way series.

That is the one thing I haven't been able to work into my SF stories. Normally my stories take place on another planet so our holidays wouldn't be the same but with the holiday coming up I wonder what my hero would do to make the day special.

Can you see how these characters are always on my mind? It's kind of crazy.

I know Storm would take advantage of it. The man has a libido that doesn't stop. If it means he'll be intimate with Heather he'd do it.

Storm would do the research from Earth and have their bedroom decked out out in candles and rose petals. There would be chocolate covered strawberries, and champagne, even though Earth's alcohol doesn't effect him. Soft music would play in the background.

And then he'd wait in anticipation...

Writing Down the Bones: Formatting

When you submit your manuscripts do you read the publishers submission guidelines? Do they make sense to you? As an editor I'm always amazed at how the manuscript isn't in the proper font, or the proper size for the font (which is why I decided to talk about this). How many underline instead of use italics. So I went looking. I didn't get far. I went to Loose ID, Samhain (which by the way are part of Ellora's Cave), Melange Books (where I edit and publish short stories), and Phaze (my publisher for my longer books. Phaze, Hardshell Word Factory, Awe-Struck are part of Mundania Press). Loose ID, Samhain, Melange Books, Phaze - none of them have the same information for submitting to them so it's not like there is a standard grid all electronic publishers use. Yet writing for two publishers I know there are basic things they all want.

So here's what I know:

Electronic publishers normally want 1 inch margins all around, left justified, Times New Roman font, one space between sentences (not the two you learned in school) and they want it in RTF. All manuscripts and synopsis are to be attached to your e-mail, not in the body of that e-mail. The only thing you should put in your e-mail is your letter.

If you plan on using italics in your ms, use them instead of underlining. The large conglomerates might still tell you to underline, but most small press/electronic don't.

Here's where things can change from publisher to publisher. Although RTF is a good universal doc, some will take Word. You need to check with the publisher you intend to submit to if you want to use Word to make sure they take it. Not all publishers will accept Word Documents, but it does seem to be an industry standard.

Not all word programs are compatible, even when you convert it to RTF. I just edited one that was done in Open Office - a free beta program and it didn't play well at all with my Word 7 program. It was saved as an RTF, but every time the author addressed the changes I suggested it messed with the formatting. A slight pain since I corrected all the formatting only to have it erased when the author sent it back to me. This is something you should be aware of when writing.

Most publishers want double spaced, but not all. Now a few minutes ago I said single spaced between sentences, and now I'm saying double spaced. So there is no confusion when you were taught to submit papers in school you were told to put  two spaces  between your sentences, where most publishers only want one, which is different than double spaced rows. Here's an example:

Mary walked in the bar. She was followed by three of her friends. (one space between sentences)
Mary walked in the bar.  She was followed by three of her friends. (two spaces between sentences)

Mary walked in the bar. She was followed by three of her friends. (double spaced from the line above)

Most want a point three indent in each paragraph, not point five, which is the default indent in most word programs. If the publisher doesn't have this information in the submission section on their website then the best thing to do is to use the default indent instead of the tab button so your editor can set it to the right indent without a problem.

I also recommend you use page breaks when ending a chapter. I used to try to line up the pages by hitting the enter key until I switched pages, but every time I had something edited that would change. especially if the document had to be converted to RTF or my editor had a different version of Word. It will make you life a little easier. I don't think the publishers care one way or the other. It's one thing I've never gotten a 'hey don't do that' on.

When you do a scene break most seem to like the *. Both of the publishers I work with want four of them, but that is where it ends. One wants no spaces and the other wants spaces between them.

I hope this helps you when formatting your manuscript. Publishers really appreciate it when you do the real basics, it makes their life easier and you never know when something this simple can sell your manuscript or get it rejected.

Barb:)

Random Thoughts: Snow

I love snow. Where I live we don't get it that often, maybe once or twice a year and it rarely sticks so I'm always like a child when it starts. When it blankets everything it's like the world got a clean slate to work with. The silence of it as it falls wraps you in a cocoon, allowing you to forget everything for a moment.

Bundling up and standing in it for a few moments allows me to enjoy the wonder. It clears my soul of all the clutter it has collected for the year. That first snowfall is beautiful. The soft flakes land on my face like kisses, absorbing my frustrations and fears and allowing me to see the world in a different light.

There are times when we all need to forget the clutter that fills our lives and snow does that for me.