Writing Down the Bones: Dialogue and Foreshadowing

In that rough draft you wrote you didn't care if you repeated yourself a lot. You just wanted to get the story to paper. Now, though, that part is done and you need to start looking at every word, the dialogue the description, the scene.

Here's an example:

"I like that dress." Mary stared at the dress on the manikin in the display window.
"I like it too," said Susie.
"Wonder if my bank account will like it as much as I do."
"You gonna', like, find out?"

There is an awful lot of likes in that section. Overall it tells what you want but it definitely needs to be reworded.  

Here it is rewritten:
"Isn't that a pretty dress." Mary stared at the black gown on the manikin in the display window. Wouldn't she look good in that.
"Nice," said Susie. "But you always had good taste."
"Yeah, good taste but no money. Not anymore. Wonder if my bank account will like it as much as I do."
"There is only one way to find out." Susie grabbed her friend by the hand and pulled her into the store.

I only kept one of those likes in that section and added more description to support my dialogue.


There are a lot of little things you need to look for with dialogue. If you have them talking about what drink they are ordering it should only be a line or two. If it takes them a half of page to get that order in and there is nothing else going on in your dialogue then your reader is going to think this is very important to the plot when it's not.

Just like the scene above. If that dress isn't important to the story then why would I want to have it in my book? Now if later I show her wearing the dress  it would make sense to have this scene. This scene of her buying the dress is foreshadowing the later scene and it gives you key information. One she is conscious of money. Might be the type of person who doesn't spend it frivolously. She might be on a tight budget and knows something like this could set her back. Perhaps she came from money and now has to live on a budget. And I can work this back into the later scene hen she wears the dress.

Here's what I mean:
Mary brushed her hands down her gown. A year ago she would have bought this dress and put it in her closet, not thinking about how much it cost, but that was before she cut ties with her father.  After he demanded she marry the man he chose for her or lose the money he had she learned how to live without. Better to be poor and free than rich and trapped.

Now the first scene makes perfect sense. You get a hint of what type of character she was before and then the second scene reinforces it.

More later ...

Writing Down the Bones: Does the scene move the plot along?

So your bones are there, begging to be fleshed out and dressed.You work through your scenes and find one you just love. It has all the right elements, just enough description and dialogue. You're so proud of it you could just burst but...

You read it and realize that this perfect scene doesn't help move your plot. What to do?

Your desire is to leave it there, after all you worked hard on it and it deserves to be read but no matter how wonderful that scene is you have to be strong. Take a deep breath and decide if you can edit it so it does help your plot or cut it. I know that hurts. No one wants to destroy something they worked so hard at but you need to be clinical when you look at a scene. If you don't, someone else will, and that can hurt a whole lot more.

Every word should move you to the goal. Character development, subplots, they still need to take your reader to the climax of your book.

Shamless Promoting!

I have been busy getting the fourth book in my Vespian Way Series promoted as much as I can and tomorrow I will be blogging at Romance Lives Forever. They interviewed me giving me a fun series of questions to answer. Please stop on by!!
http://romancelivesforever.blogspot.com/2012/10/futuristic-unwanted-desire-barbbradley.html

Writing Down the Bones: How does the scene flow?

Now I'm going to go into a little more detail on how to flesh out those scenes. We all do it differently. My techniques might make you laugh.

As I edit I look at several things to be sure it flows. I ask myself  does the dialogue move along nicely or does it seem choppy? Does it make sense as I read it or did I leave something out? Is there enough detail? Can you tell where they are? do I need to add more description? What they are doing? Is it nothing but talking heads or do I show them in action as they talk? Is it consistent?' You sure don't want them standing one minute then a couple paragraphs later have them stand up.

As I work my way through the my work in progress these type of questions float in the back of my mind. I have found if I rush it by trying to do my edits all in one run I make myself crazy and it takes too long.  So I layer it. I'll go through and fix what really jumps out at me. Then let it sit for a few days then go back through it again. I know it sounds like a lot of work but it works for me.

That is what every writer needs to do. Find the method that works for them. I learned the rules we're taught don't always work for everyone. Do what works for you.

Next step of writing: Fleshing out those bones

So now you have the bones. The rough draft is done and you now have to go through it and make it shine. Where to start? I'd recommend you start where you feel drawn to. I normally read through the manuscript to see where I'm weak but I can't help but make corrections as I go through. I ask myself questions:

Does the scene flow?
Does it move the plot forward?
Does the dialog make sense?
Is there enough description or too much talking heads?
Does each scene end with a hook?

I might go through my manuscript three or four times to catch it all. Now I feel I need to explain this. I did try to cut down the amounts of edits needed but found that didn't work for me.  I need to do this in stages to get the best story I can.

more writing down the bones

So my rough draft - and that is what it is - is my characters talking. I think that is why I can fly by the seat of my pants so to speak. Dialogue is very easy for me so that is what I start with. My characters talk and I listen to them. They sometimes know the plot better than I do. It's uncanny how I can write, knowing my beginning and my end but the middle part will be murky yet I always get where I want to go and have never had to throw out anything. I've had to rewrite scenes in a major way once that draft is written or moved a few scenes around but for the most part my stories just flow.

I don't worry about if I used the perfect word, or if I have fleshed out the scene enough. I have time to worry about that later. That's for my revisions or edits. Right now I'm letting everything flow. I know the beginning of my story and the end of my story. It's the middle that might be a bit murky and that is where the fun is for me. My characters know where the story is going to go as well as I do and we go on a grand adventure to get to the end.

Blogging today!

Shamless promoting...I'm blogging at Lily Sawyers blogspot - please come by and say hi!!!

http://lilysawyerbooks.blogspot.com/2012/10/welcome-guest-author-barbara-donlon.html

New Release!!!

I'm so excited about my newest release! Unwanted Desire will be out on Tuesday! Doing the happy dance!!!! Be sure to check it out. www.phaze.com

Barb:)

New Release!

I am excited to announce that the 4th book in the Vespian Way will be released on October 2nd, 2012
Take a look at the cover!!! I love it!!!

Writing Down the Bones

So let's get into the post I wrote last time. How do you start a manuscript? There are so many different ways. I have friends who use post-it notes or index cards to plot out their books. They might write one word on the card but it helps them figure out the flow of their stories.

That doesn't work for me. I like to let my characters take me on a journey, and I have found if I try using the style I mention in the last paragraph it kills my creative juices. So no matter how many strange looks I get from other writers I stick to my guns and let my characters tell me how the story is going to go.

Now don't get me wrong, I do plot, but I do it in my head. I normally start with a paragraph or two of how the story is going to go. Then I start writing. I might not know every scene I'm going to put in the book as I go but I have found I never write something into the story that I have to throw out later. My characters never steer me wrong.